| Emotions |
[May. 27th, 2012|12:02 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Emotions - Destiny's Child | ] |
Just few days ago i was feeling really down.
I remember there was one period of my life where my emotion was probably at the lowest point. It was during that particular midnight where i had to choose between poly or JC and had work the next day. I remember clearly i was lying on my bed, wanting to cry it all out. I think nobody knows how stressed up i felt.
Back a few days ago, i was exactly going through the same emotions. Not over the same worries of course. For my first test in poly, i failed it so fucking badly. I don't even need to mention my marks, and i don't wish to. Just keep it in mind it's most probably the lowest in all the 80 optometry students. I can't help but think friends around me who kept saying "oh i will fail as well!" "I confirm fail one lor." "I put wrong formula la sian, fail." are hypocrites. Liars. It just make me feel even worse. Pls, if you have, at the slightest confidence that you'd pass a test, say you will. Don't ever give others false hope.
Think of how i felt. Friends say that will fail the test together with you. That moment, don't you feel at the least bit, comforted? Oh, you're not alone. How great. But at the end, when the results are back, they are rejoicing, smiling, cheering over how happy they passed the test. Me? I face the cruel reality of being lied to, and most of all, facing the single digit score myself, alone.
MST is next week. I'm less than 20% prepared for all my modules. That's how fucked up my studies is right now.
And then i feel insecure, over so many things. From minor ones to major ones. This is the first time i felt so very insecure over appearance.... and much much more.
What happened after that?? I teared. No that's pretty much an understatement. To be uprightly honest, i cried. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
If you are thinking, "lol why did you cry over such trivial things?"
Go to hell.
I need the 3 weeks term break. I could hide myself at home. |
|
|
| Start of Week 6 of Poly |
[May. 21st, 2012|12:21 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Where Them Girls At - David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj, Flo Rida | ] |
Hey it's 12.04am as i type now. It marks the very start of Week 6 of Poly. MST is just next week, and then i'll enjoy holidays. It's so fast.
Anyway, the post on Bangkok would be postponed. I have no inspiration and let alone time to post about it. Not like anybody is interested in reading it anyway...
So.... spent my whole day with my couz Ting (aka Joy) and couz Adeline and her mum yesterday (keep in mind it's past 12am). Adeline and her mum come to SG once in a few months from Kuching. Went Thomsom Plaza for dim sum lunch as a treat from my father to Adeline and her mum. After which we roamed around Chinatown and Wheelock and Orchard Ion. They really lead luxurious lives lor! Initially i was worried and told Ting that i did not bring out my EZ link card so it'd be inconvenient for me to travel around...
Then Ting replied...
"Don't worry. They don't take the train."
And i knew it. It's cab cab cab all the way. Hahaha.
Settled at Wheelock for high tea and then shopped at Ion's F21 for awhile. It was then i was told somehow that i have old-fashioned dressing... Not that i don't know of it lah. I am well-aware of that lol.
Had dinner at Kembangan (near Katong) with Ting, her bro, her parents and Adeline and her mum. Relatives' get together time!!!
Ridiculous but i went back to Ting's house (which is a freaking Yishun! So far!!) and it was where i had my hair done. Oh gosh srsly these few months i have been doing shitloads of shit on my shit hair. Dye cut dye cut dye cut. Adeline's mum is a senior hair stylist or smth in Kuching so whenever she came over she would do Ting's hair. But not mine lah cos it's inconvenient; i can't possibly travel all the way down to the north to trouble people to do my hair. But today it's different.
Had my hair done after so many many many negative comments on my shoulder length hair. Ok it's barely at the shoulders. But give me just a few more weeks. Man, i realized my hair grow at an alarming rate. Maybe it's just me.. but to me i swear its growth rate is.... relatively fast. And as i was saying, i did my hair lah. Left my hair's fate to my aunt and.... pictures will tell how i look like soon.
For now...
That's Ting, me and Adeline! Ok.. looking cui there. And that's the length of my hair now FYI and it's before the cut. This pic doesn't do justice to how *ahem* good we look like hor! xDDDDDDDD
I'm left with less than 6 hrs of sleep as of now. Signing off! |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
simdaiwen's journal